im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
