So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
