i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Your tits are I can't wait for
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
