why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
