the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
