I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
should my penis look like a turkey
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
