doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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