Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize