how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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