What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
