he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
