At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
