i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
