11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize