I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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