Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
