Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
