But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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