drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
