I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I will pee on everything he values.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
