xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The uberlube is also flammable
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
