That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
