She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So squirting runs in the family.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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