i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i believe in u and ur pee
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize