Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
soo... how was my night?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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