If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
