Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My vagina just clenched in fear
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
