I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
