i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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