Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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