If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
