Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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