She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
