I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
