It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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