I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
