I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
