Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
