He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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