Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
