I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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