A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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