It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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