So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
