i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
