I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
