planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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