I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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