sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
