So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
