I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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