i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
