i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
