The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
thus making me awesome and them whores
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
