As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize