Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I would ride that face into the sunset
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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