If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
