Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize