At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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