Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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