Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
