you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
