he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
