It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
